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Divorce can an physically taxing, financially tolling, emotional rollercoaster. Whereas some feel like a weight has been lifted after a divorce, having dealt with emotional, psychological or physical abuse from their spouse, others may have tried their hardest to keep their marriage together, only to see it fall to pieces regardless. For those divorcees, the loss can hit hard. When you marry someone, you envisage your union lasting forever. Here are 3 difficult truths about divorce and ways you can overcome them…
Before your divorce, you may have had someone to at least lean on somewhat through turbulent change. Now, that change is losing them completely. They’re gone. Your shoulder, if ever your spouse was one, won’t be there for you to lean on. You truly are alone in coping with your emotions. Now, you may be envisioning a future without a teammate. It’s entirely natural to feel like you’ve lost your strength after a divorce. But now is a time for self-discovery, and self-love. You still need to keep your health, wellbeing, and life together. You’ll have to step up to the plate on your own. And in doing so, you’ll realize that you do have the strength to be independent, even after being dependent on your ex-spouse for so long. You may have had such self-love before your marriage, and that self-love may have been lost throughout an unhealthy relationship. But that self-love will come back.
Take your time, but don’t curl up with that loneliness or lack of self-love. You may feel an urge to get out and rebuild your social life. You might not know where to start, though. Luckily, it’s easier than you may think, so long as you face any reservations about putting yourself out there. If you don’t have friends or simply want a new group of friends, join a social group like Meetup.com. Search the site for meetups that involve activities you truly love doing. When you feel ready, try and get out there – if only to make new friendships and social circles. This will aid in the process of relearning what it is to love yourself.
Divorce can be traumatizing for a child, especially if they’re dragged through a custody battle. And especially if they realize they won’t be able to see one of their parents as often as the other. Children can be extremely intuitive, as well. Much like they may have sensed your pain during your marriage and during the divorce process, they’ll sense it if it’s there afterward.
Divorce can also cause a child to have to grow up faster than normal. And that’s natural. Take this time to come up with creative ways that will help both you and your child throughout the healing process. Don’t leave it up to your child to figure out how to heal on their own, even if you don’t feel as if you’ve healed. Heal together.