Because breaking divorce news may be one of the most important conversations you ever have with your children, it’s worth the time to plan the best approach.
Parents.com recommends the following guidelines:
Both parents should tell the children together. Both parents should put their children’s well being first when telling them about the decision to divorce. You should present divorce as a joint decision and set your reactions about it aside — resentment, blame, etc. Your children need reassurance that you will still work together as parents to provide what’s best for them.
Tell all of your children at the same time. Generally it’s better for all the kids to find out at the same time. An exception may be if you know an older child will react badly and upset a younger child, in which case, tell them individually.
Figure out what to say in advance. Telling your children in a way that addresses their concerns is extremely important. It is important for your kids to understand that:
Kids often get angry, cry, shout or run to their rooms. Let them express their feelings without having your own reactions to their behavior. You may need to give them time alone. You also may feel like they need affection and to be held or hugged. Many children respond by being concerned about how their immediate life will be affected. Will they still be able to go to the same school, see their friends or go to a party they’ve been invited to attend? While that type of response may seem superficial to you, it is typical for kids to respond this way.
Answer their questions and continue to have talks with them about their concerns over your divorce. If you don’t know the answer to a question, it is important to be honest and tell them so, rather than make promises you may not be able to keep.
Divorce can be complicated because there are many facets to consider. Attorney Chris Palermo can provide you with experienced legal guidance and help you make the right decisions.